Id like to begin by wishing all the people who know me, big and small, close or distant, living under my couch...MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR! Hope santa was generous and ur years end on a high note and start on one too.

I know its been a long time since my last update, but i guess thats because ive just been all over the place. For those who dont know, ive been in and out of hospital due to an insanely high blood pressure (4x what im supposed to have) and possible heart complications. It was a painfull week of needles and bp tests, ultrasounds, MRI, contrast dye and ofcourse the subtle but annoying nerves that followed the whole "YOU COULD DIE AT ANY MINUTE OF ANY DAY" speech courtesy of my cardiologist. On that front at this point in time, 2 thirds of my test results have come back (god bless doctors taking holidays during the christmas season) and things are looking good. My blood pressure is still bad (and thus still risk of stroking) but im gonna be on meds for the rest of my life to try and get that under control. Aside from that, based on the results that i have atm, the only other issue present is a swelling of my heart valve caused by the ultra high bp.

BUT HERES THE KICKER! They haven't a clue why its happening. Ive been dealing with some personal stress (ie. Parents, Losing close friends etc.) but my cardiologist says that it shouldnt be as high as it is even under stress. Apparently its rare in australia for a person my age to have this level of BP too, it was interesting to walk into the clinic and have all the doctors and nurses say, "hows that blood pressure" or "oh so thats the kid". So much for confidentiality.

Christmas was good, it was spent amongst family and good friends and boxing day wasnt too shabby either. Thanks to Sean, Steph, Catty, Evan, Shazzeh, Chris, Yasu, Ani, Jess, Kelsey and everyone whos been supportive. You guys rock hardcore. Although i jest, im not looking forward to new years. I get to hang with the awesome during the day, all my close friends are going to a party that night and thanks to said loss of friends, i cant go there with them. Im trying to fix things but it is by no means anywhere near finished, and probably wont be for a very long time It just hurts to know that while my friends are out toasting to the new year and new beginning, ill be home alone and that in itself will be a constant reminder of a lingering end.

Oh well, i better get used to it. Until this gets fixed i forsee it happening again... v.v;;;

I just want my friends back

Peace out and Happy fracking new year!!

~Zael